Failures and rejection in both emotional and professional level are a common thing to all of us, but sometimes it blocks us from going forward. Many of us have been left in a tricky position, trying to figure out how in the world we were ever going to move forward. It is that constant fear from disappointing the people in whatever we do next. Sometimes it even makes us feel that we have no way to win, leaving us in the blinding darkness of disappointment. The thing is that we have to find some way to gain the inspiration to move on, regardless of its inevitable outcome. Many people claim that they found it in an unlikely source, in rejection.
When such thing happens, why do we feel so drained, so wounded? Well, neurological studies reveal that the same areas of the brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain. That means that rejections hurt because they literally initiate physical pain in our brain.
When rejected, we intend to list all our faults and we react in a most common way, which is becoming self-critical. If it’s a romantic rejection, people force themselves in an inner dialogue that can be even abusive. In that state of mind, we’re able to convince ourselves that we actually deserve it. This is where the self-esteem is the most important, because if we kick it when it’s already down, we’re deepening our emotional wounds. At the same time, by making our psychological injuries worse, we’re also delaying our recovery.
The best cure for this is self-affirmation. We should do some things in which we’re good to try to restore confidence and self-esteem. It reminds us of our skills and abilities, affirms our value, specially in the area in which we experienced the rejection. So, how do we do that? Well the best reminder of our true value is to make a list of our qualities and try to write couple of words on each one.
Romantic and social rejection can also make us feel unsettled and wound our ‘need to belong’. That’s why friends or family members can help us settle down. They are often the best in supporting us and reminding us that we are actually both loved and valued.
We should all be careful not to make one of the most common mistakes after being rejected, which is to avoid some well known situations that we see as an exposure to additional pain. It is totally normal not want to go to job interviews or to date for some time. Don’t be surprised if you don’t feel like making new friendships during this period. Avoiding these situations actually grows our fear of them, so we should try to fight it instead.
Anyway, we should all know that rejection is a form of psychological injury that can and should be treated. Next time we suffer after a rejection, it would be very smart to take some of those actions, treat our wounds and to recover in time by avoid those action that delay our recovery.
Failures and rejection in both emotional and professional level are a common thing to all of us, but sometimes it blocks us from going forward. Many of us have been left in a tricky position, trying to figure out how in the world we were ever going to move...