Pop artist The Weeknd sings, "I hear the secrets that you keep when you're talkin' in your sleep." Many of us may wonder if that is really possible! Somniloquy is the scientific name for sleep talking, and the full-blown disorder affects 5% of adults nationwide.
Sleeping, Dreaming, Speaking
But most people have mumbled silly things from time to time, and that's perfectly normal. Only our partners are witnesses, and we certainly hope we don't say anything out of character!
Today, we've collected some of the wackiest sleep conversations revealed on the net. Along the way, we will share fascinating factoids about the real science of sleep — laughing and learning can't be beat!
Let's find out more about dreamworld, shall we?
Mysterious Journeys
What in the world is going on here? Or rather, which world is going on here? This dreamy husband seems to be off floating in another dimension!
Scientists say that we all dream 4 to 7 times every night, but you might be wondering why you don't have a library of memories from the other realm. Kind of disappointing, actually!
Research says that most people end up forgetting 90% of their dream, and 50% disappears in just the first 5 minutes of waking up. This man's wife will probably never get an answer about where he was hanging out in space!
Broke Batman
Batman, it's time to pay up! These are serious allegations, and it does not reflect well on the masked hero we all know and love. Maybe he's sleep-deprived?
Fans have inquired about Batman's resting hours, and it turns out that the comic books do include some details on the matter. Whenever he has time, he has "microsleeps" for an hour or less! In fact, Batman went without sleep for 80 hours straight in one story, but we all know that isn't healthy.
Yes, he needs to catch criminals in the act, but it could have some forgetful side effects. We forgive you, Bruce Wayne. But it's time to cough up a 20!
Where the Wild Things Grow
Trees are usually peaceful scenery, but we all know things can take a dark turn in dreamworld! This sleeper seems to be having a nightmare about killer shrubs, and his partner is a hostage in bed without much knowledge to help him out. Yikes!
Between the ages of 5-12, frequent nightmares are pretty common. This phenomenon usually goes away in adulthood, for the most part. Experts say that 5-8% of adults still experience nightmares on a regular basis and that certain personality types are more prone to this issue. Be honest, are you?
Belgian Beau
This guy seems pretty self-satisfied here. And why? Because he's Belgian! Perhaps there are some reasons he can brag, and we definitely found one related to sleep.
If you've ever wondered which country gets the most shuteye, one app called Sleep Cycle has conducted a survey with its users. Apparently, Belgium ranks among the highest in the world on this metric. And even better news: they beat Ireland!
We're not sure if this nationalistic Z's contest is what he is so smug about, but we wouldn't blame him. If not, the question remains: Why does it feel 'so good' to be Belgian in the middle of the night?
Tentacle Trap
The deeper you go in the sea, the more monstrous the creatures become. If you've ever studied marine biology, you know what's really hiding below! This man seems to have encountered an intrusive octopus, and we don't really know what kind of argument they are having. Maybe it's time for the octopus to go to bed, too.
As it turns out, these creatures go through sleep cycles themselves. Cephalopods in general experience a REM phase, and scientists have discovered octopuses have similar brainwaves to us during our REM time. The more you know!
An Indecent Proposal
These two lovebirds went to bed like couples everywhere do, night after night. He seems to have a sleep talking problem, and this time it was all about the wedding buffet. Why, hubby — why the meal?
She probably thought she caught him dreaming about their vows again, which is touching for a wife. Sadly, it was just food again. Was he dreaming about the green beans and potatoes, or getting the bill in the mail? We may never know, but thankfully his lady seems to have a good sense of humor about it!
Yummy In My Tummy
Well, it certainly seems like there is a theme here! Week after week, this guy starts mumbling about food in an unconscious state. Is he just a 24-hour gourmand, no matter where or when?
It turns out that he may not be the gluttonous person at all. Researchers say that our minds actually incorporate smells and sounds around our bodies while we’re dreaming. Yes, that's right: If you’re sound asleep while your friend is cooking stir-fry, you might start experiencing a dream in a Chinese restaurant!
Mother Knows Best
Teenagers like to think they know everything, but one mom seems to have a real attitude in her sleep! The youngster tries to test it out, but it seems the answers are beyond us.
Be honest — do we really remember all that high school algebra? Smartphones have even replaced calculators, and spontaneous math on the go is probably not as common as it used to be. Polynomials? Get out of here! The answer may as well be related french fries and hot sauce, for all we know.
Doggy Dreams
Bark, bark, howl! Imagine if your roommate actually woke you up with animal noises in the middle of the night. In the dorms, this is not something anyone expects. Dogs are against the rules! Why on earth would one be yipping in your itty-bitty room?
Apparently humans sometimes dream they are dogs, but do dogs dream they are human? At least once and awhile? Scientists do not currently have any evidence that animals dream during the REM phase, and to be honest — they probably never will. What kind of machine could measure that, anyway?
The mystery continues, to our dismay.
A Very French Friend
This guy decides to have confrontation from the comfort of his warm bed. Unfortunately, he is unconscious, and his wife doesn't understand his complaint!
First of all, he alleges his partner has been hiding medals. Not many, but all of them! Second, he seems irritated that she would rather spend time with Napoleon. Fortunately for him, the temporary French emperor has been publicly dead for hundreds of years. So many accusations, and no explanation the next day!
He thinks his ramblings are pretty funny, and we bet you agree.
Absolutely Everything
Imagine trying to sleep, and hearing gibberish from across the hall from your roommate. It might very well keep you up, so hopefully, it is at least entertaining!
This time, it was pretty memorable. He wants to bedazzle everything, and who could object? What this actually means is not clear from his murmuring declarations, but it better involves sparkle and shimmer. If not buddy, we don't think we are interested. Especially since he is threatening to bedazzle everything, and right now!
You're Welcome
Sometimes, sleep talking is entirely indecipherable. This is one of those times, but it's certainly good for a laugh!
This husband seems very grateful in a strange situation his wife cannot quite understand. Nor is it clear who is responsible for throwing things, or why. The further inquiry seems unsuccessful, too.
What's a wife to do in the face of utter nonsense like this? Posting the incident online seems to be just what the dream doctor ordered!
Unlimited Nonsense
This girlfriend says her lover is bilingual, and we wonder if he actually speaks french. For some reason, he shouts out 'cabbage' — and in french, 'mon petit chou' is a sweet name for our loved ones that translates to 'my little cabbage'. French doesn't explain the rest of this craziness, however!
It seems like he is dreaming about answering the phone, and fighting battles for the red, white, and blue. With such a creative mind asleep, this girl probably has an interesting conversation partner during the day! And he is (potentially) french! Ah, amour.
Night Terrors
This man appears to be in some kind of spy movie in his dream, ready to take down the bad guys with a special plan. It's not clear that he is actually in danger, though. This seems like a proactive attack!
The legendary Sigmund Freud theorized that dreams show our repressed thoughts, and he believed that our mind wants to get rid of these unpleasant issues quickly. Many psychoanalytic schools have developed since these early writings, but the original offers a fresh lens sometimes. What do you think, ladies and gents?
Pillow Talk
In the middle of the night, one man had an urgent question. Just where do they get all the pillows from? It's not clear who he is talking about, but he seems to have a real curiosity!
No one knows that we really get pillows from Mesopotamia. Way back in pre-modern Iraq, the rich slept on special stone pillows. Why? Something about the design was believed to prevent bugs from invading sleeping mouths and noses. Yuck! Thank goodness we have fluffy pillows now in closed houses, friends.
Money Talks
We've all experienced daily financial stresses keeping us up all night. One girl actually woke up in the middle of the night to try to figure it all out!
Dreams are actually an emotional rollercoaster with feelings from real-life cycling through in many ways. What is the most common emotion? It turns out that people often relive anxiety while they sleep, which is such a bummer! Most of us want a short escape from reality from time to time — at least in our dreams!
Super-Sleep
Many little boys dreamed of being Superman back in the day, but the fantasy just never came true. Except perhaps, in a dream world. This man's friend proved he might still be harboring action hero plans somewhere in his psyche, something that he may not know about himself during daylight. Thanks, buddy!
What do we know about Superman's sleep patterns, by the way? According to the writers, he does sleep occasionally. But this magical man doesn't need it for the same reasons we do — he actually needs to rest to recharge on the power of dreams.
In one comic book, an alien advised him that he needs this for his unique mental health needs. Who knew?
Soup Nazi
Sometimes you just need a nice, cold glass. Rarely does it become a raging emergency! In this case, one young man was understandably upset when all he could find was a can of soup. In his dreamy state, the injustice seemed real!
You may not know that your body actually loses quite a bit of water during the night, every night. While you sleep, your breath releases humidity. Would you believe that you actually emit around 1 liter while unconscious? Pretty crazy stuff!
Sounds like this guy was already dehydrated when he went to bed, and things got out of control. Luckily for him, there is plenty of water waiting when he shakes off that watery nightmare.
Good Vibes, Man
We all love taking it easy and going into a fantasy world sometimes. This man seems to have gone somewhere really relaxing in his dreams! But where, and what is going on?
He seems to miss the mark when mumbling an explanation to the witness because things are no clearer at the end than at the beginning! Whatever the case may be, it seems like this was a pretty enjoyable escape into the dream world. Vibing all the way, people.
Craig's Rage
Imagine a quiet evening at home, tucking in your husband and relaxing until you watch him close his familiar eyes. You have insomnia again, so you check in with your smartphone. Sounds like a common scenario, doesn't it?
For whatever reason, this man had an angry vision of his wife using personal ads while he slept. Specifically, Craigslist! It was all unconscious, but she must be wondering if there is a grain of truth in his accusation. These two have a lot to talk about in the morning, don't they?
Swamp Evil
This girlfriend really puts up with some crazy stuff in the dark of night — ominous warnings about monsters from the swap, barbed wire, and paranoid statements about men lurking in the room where they sleep! What in the sticky swamp is going on here?
It turns out that adults who experience frequent nightmares usually fit into two categories: creative personalities or individuals with underlying psychological problems. The underlying emotions tend to be guilt, sadness, or confusion — not fear, surprisingly.
This couple needs to have a conversation in the morning, don't they? Sounds like he is turning her hair white!
Flying All Night
Most people would probably choose flying as a superpower if they had the option, but it's not currently a reality. Technology is improving rapidly, but we can always try it out in our dreams for now!
This man dreamed about flying like a bird, which sounds pleasant compared to strapping a contraption to your body to mimic the experience. But like a bird, would he get the chance to sleep? Birds are not usually seen sleeping, so some may wonder if they actually get any Z's out there in the wild.
It turns out that they have a superpower of their own: unihemispheric slow-wave sleep. This fancy term means that they sleep with one eye open and half their brain on alert for predators. A pretty impressive trick, feathers!
Fuzzy Friends
Some people are eternally curious, and one man continued to ponder the universe with both eyes closed. He mumbles some pretty good scientific questions in his sleep about mammals, and we have a few interesting facts to share about the warm-blooded kingdom.
Humans can delay sleep, but other mammals cannot. Dogs and livestock are forced to go to sleep when their body signals a need. Lights out, too bad. Whales and dolphins are not so lucky, perhaps — they never fully turn off!
These watery mammals actually stay half-awake so they can float to the surface sometimes and take a breath. It's a tough life out there in the sea, you guys!
Back To The Future
Family Guy is one of the most popular adult cartoons out there these days, and fans will easily be able to tell you why. The jokes are stingily relevant, and it's always a wild ride!
This man appears to be giggling deep in his dreams about a recent episode, and clearly it made an impression on him. Sadly, it seems his partner has no idea what plot he is referencing. But, no matter.
Time travel is clearly involved in this mashup of unconscious fantasy, and it sounds like he's actually having a great time tonight!
Brits Do it Better
Many women (and men!) are suckers for a good Anglo accent, and this boyfriend seems to be co-opting not one but two options to make his gal smile. She certainly seems amused! But which version does she really prefer?
First, he impersonates an American. Then, he tries out an upper-class accent from the old world. Finally, he reverts to his true self. Aussies have charm, too! No need for lingual lies — clearly your girlfriend loved you as the expat you are!
Tutti Frutti
One woman has an amusing incident with her night shift husband dozing off in the car. Abruptly, he starts yelling out about mutilated fruit! But why?
As it turns out, shift work is not recommended for humans over long periods of time. The International Classifications of Sleep Disorders says that these jobs come with increased risk for chronic illnesses!
This includes cardiovascular and gastrointestinal issues. And further, the National Sleep Foundation says that the body actually never adjusts to this terrible nightly schedule. No joke, people!
Big, Bad Bugs
Humans have a deeply ingrained instinct to stay away from creepy crawlies, and most of the time we manage to keep them at bay. But what happens they invade your personal space in your dreams? Your very mind!
Well, there's no escape in this case. At least this man has his girlfriend at his side during an attack of giant insects! Will he remember it all in the morning? We hope not, for his sake!
Nap Time
This dreamer seems to be a bit confused about his partner's career plans tonight. It doesn't seem like his partner has any intention of teaching teens. She already specializes in toddlers!
Most people will have to adjust their sleep schedule a bit to really succeed at the job. Full-time preschool teachers at daycare centers usually work 8-hour shifts, but these often start at 6 am! You've got to be there to prepare before the parents leave for their morning jobs, right?
This night mumbler is actually interrupting her beauty sleep, but he probably has no idea at the moment.
Red Alert
This emergency scenario seems urgent, but the husband in question doesn't know how to help! His wife is half asleep, but she seems extremely concerned about one very particular button somewhere in the house.
